Learning from Children

I’ve met children as young as four who have chosen to fight discrimination. Take an example from years ago: it was a preschool class who asked their teacher to write the Crayola Company and say, “These crayons you call ‘flesh’ aren’t the color of a lot of our skins. Why don’t you call this color something else?” Today, if you open a box of crayons, because of many children and adults asking similar questions, you won’t find a light colored crayon (or a band-aid),  labeled “flesh.”

Another group of pre-schoolers was taking a walk and saw a sign in a store window that said, “Men wanted.” They asked their teacher if they could stop and talk to the store’s owner. They told the man (who as you can imagine was surprised to be visited by 15 four-year-olds) his sign was unfair to women. The owner changed his sign to read: “Job available.”

When did we lose that ability to speak up and to believe we could make a difference?

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used:

Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter, television personality and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex issues of social justice. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” For a copy of a free teleseminar with Susan, go to www.susanohalloran.com

Setting the right tone for your message

All good outer work starts with inner work. We need to become good detectives on ourselves. Before telling a story around a social justice theme, interviewing people for your research, or inviting someone to speak to your class or organization, boldly delve into your own history of difference. Be willing to look at not only when you were on the receiving end of other people’s ignorance and hate, but the much harder task of when and how you’ve dished it out. We need to understand how we are like the things we want to change in order for our stories to achieve the tone that opens hearts. Get to know your defenses and your hiding places, your large reserve of prejudices and fears. When we cozy up to our shadow sides, we sound less righteous and people are less likely to close down when we speak. If we want to change hearts, it is wiser to speak of our journey, not what other people should say or do.

Plus, read everything you can about your subject. Learn from others in a Gettrespectful way, that is, don’t turn traditional outsiders into a project by asking a thousand questions. We need to take the responsibility to educate ourselves and be ready to share who we are. People who have been placed on the outside have enough burdens without feeling as though they are specimens under a microscope or spokesperson for their entire group We can look for ethnic film festivals or panel discussions where it’s set up for us to ask questions and the people involved are being paid for their time or, at least, voluntarily in education mode.

To tell our stories without sounding “preachy,” we need to use all the tools of the storytelling trade — suspense, humor, clear characters the audience can care about and so on. Listen to storytelling and political speeches that don’t work. Analyze when you started to shift in your seat because you felt as though you were being chastised. When does a description of a situation immobilize you with guilt and overwhelm you with its complexity and when do you feel compelled to pick up the phone, write a check or go to the meeting?

Geographically-Correct

Geography is a dimension of diversity we often forget about, but it really can influence our perspectives. Recently, I was teaching a diversity workshop in a small town in Indiana. I’d been to this bank building several times before and always found the signage in the town particularly confusing.

“I always get lost in this town,” I remarked to some of the participants. “But, then, I figure it’s because I’m a big city kid and expect more instruction. Maybe because it’s such a small town, they just figure everyone knows where they’re going.”

A tall woman with long brown hair began to laugh. She had driven sixty miles to the workshop from a farm community and had gotten lost that morning as well.

“I always get lost, too, when I come here,” she said. “But I always figure it’s because it’s such a big town.”

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used:

Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter, television personality and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex issues of social justice. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” For a copy of a free teleseminar with Susan, go to www.susanohalloran.com

* Photo purchased from istockphoto.com