Bullied To Death on College Campuses

Reading about the suicides on U.S. campuses makes me sad beyond measure. I keep thinking they just didn’t have to happen. Not only were these students “bullied to death” – that is horrible enough. But it also means they had no antidote, no community who welcomed them and neutralized the harm the bullies inflicted.

The divisions in this world were created step-by-step, decision-by-decision by human beings – they didn’t just drop on us. That’s actually good news because it means they can be undone step-by-step by people just like you and me if we put gentle time and attention into building community. I say gentle time and attention because we don’t want to create another excuse to beat up on ourselves. Many things in our modern world conspire against easy human contact.

But I have found that doing whatever I can to bring people together and building sanctuaries where I feel yummy, nurturing acceptance and support is worth the effort for me, but also – as we’ve seen with these tragic deaths – for others as well.

Is there a time you remember when you felt a sense of belonging? Do you remember feeling playful and alive? Is there a small way for you to bring more of that feeling into your life and other’s lives right now?

Chances are many of your friends are feeling similar feelings. When we experiences lives of all work and no play and a focus on me and my troubles, we may find that we’ve become those dull, lifeless adults we said we’d never become!

When do you feel welcomed? For you, it may be a book club, discussion group, a faith-based group or a standing date with friends for a shared meal or a walk. What activities and people make you feel stronger? How can you create more support for yourself?

If what they say is true – that 20% of our efforts yield 80% of our results – then there are plenty of things that seem essential that we can let go of to make room for actions that nurture us.

Each of us plays a part in creating communities where people feel as if they belong, communities where the beauty, the smarts, the spontaneity and the joy of each person can shine!

Susan O’Halloran is a diversity speaker who uses powerful and engaging stories to grab her audiences. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” A FREE GIFT can be found at: www.susanohalloran.com or by calling 1-866-997-8726. This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used.

Breakthrough Compassion Burnout!

How do you get the message out that your organization is doing all sorts of good things? A compelling story can break through information overload. You’ve got to have a plan to break through people’s compassion burnout. It won’t just happen because your cause is worthy. Take the time to find and work on your organization’s Who We Are and Why We’re Here Stories.

Please enable Javascript and Flash to view this Blip.tv video.

Moving from PC (Politically Correct) to PC (Personally Caring) Language

Language is never neutral. I am a professional story artist and I have witnessed again and again storytellers, teachers, ministers and librarians, with the best of intentions, telling their audiences stories about slavery. They are trying to right a wrong; they know we were never taught the cruel realities of that economic system. However, throughout the telling they continuously use the word “slave.”  The word “slave” certainly seems like a neutral word describing a specific reality. But several years ago some African American tellers pointed out to me that a word such as “slave” denotes a certain viewpoint, the oppressor’s viewpoint. It reduces people to a de-humanized role. Instead, when we use words such as “people who were enslaved’, or “people who were kidnapped” or “people who were held captive,” we get an accurate description of who were the doers and who were the done-tos.

I’m not talking about choosing our words to be “politically correct,” but to become more aware of what we are communicating – intentionally and unintentionally. This debate over language isn’t arbitrary or frivolous. One group has had the power to name things, has had the power for so long that we are blind to the biases and put downs associated with so many “common” words. The greatest sign of respect is to call people what they want to be called.

I know this can seem confusing. But make it simple: ask the people you are involved with or plan to tell stories about what they prefer to be called. Not in a manner that puts them under a microscope or asks them to speak for their group such as: “What do “you all” want to be called?” (“Well, all twelve million of us have taken a vote and…”) Instead, ask people as individuals what they prefer and be ready to share your preferences as well. This means we have to make contact; this means we have to talk to each other.

Instead of feeling put out by the need to consider language, we could rejoice in the fact that we’re finally becoming a multi-voiced nation. People are beginning to name themselves and no one group of anything wants to be called any one thing.

Language is a living, breathing, ever-changing art form. We could take the attitude that it’s interesting and even fun to play with words to get descriptions that are more clear, more accurate and more sensitive. We take the time not to be “right” but because we care not to hurt each other. When we choose different words we help people see a different reality. A different shared reality is the foundation upon which we can build a transformed society that works for everyone.

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used:

Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter, television personality and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex issues of social justice. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” For a copy of a free teleseminar with Susan, go to www.susanohalloran.com

* Photo purchased from istockphoto.com