Setting the right tone for your message

All good outer work starts with inner work. We need to become good detectives on ourselves. Before telling a story around a social justice theme, interviewing people for your research, or inviting someone to speak to your class or organization, boldly delve into your own history of difference. Be willing to look at not only when you were on the receiving end of other people’s ignorance and hate, but the much harder task of when and how you’ve dished it out. We need to understand how we are like the things we want to change in order for our stories to achieve the tone that opens hearts. Get to know your defenses and your hiding places, your large reserve of prejudices and fears. When we cozy up to our shadow sides, we sound less righteous and people are less likely to close down when we speak. If we want to change hearts, it is wiser to speak of our journey, not what other people should say or do.

Plus, read everything you can about your subject. Learn from others in a Gettrespectful way, that is, don’t turn traditional outsiders into a project by asking a thousand questions. We need to take the responsibility to educate ourselves and be ready to share who we are. People who have been placed on the outside have enough burdens without feeling as though they are specimens under a microscope or spokesperson for their entire group We can look for ethnic film festivals or panel discussions where it’s set up for us to ask questions and the people involved are being paid for their time or, at least, voluntarily in education mode.

To tell our stories without sounding “preachy,” we need to use all the tools of the storytelling trade — suspense, humor, clear characters the audience can care about and so on. Listen to storytelling and political speeches that don’t work. Analyze when you started to shift in your seat because you felt as though you were being chastised. When does a description of a situation immobilize you with guilt and overwhelm you with its complexity and when do you feel compelled to pick up the phone, write a check or go to the meeting?

Moving from PC (Politically Correct) to PC (Personally Caring) Language

Language is never neutral. I am a professional story artist and I have witnessed again and again storytellers, teachers, ministers and librarians, with the best of intentions, telling their audiences stories about slavery. They are trying to right a wrong; they know we were never taught the cruel realities of that economic system. However, throughout the telling they continuously use the word “slave.”  The word “slave” certainly seems like a neutral word describing a specific reality. But several years ago some African American tellers pointed out to me that a word such as “slave” denotes a certain viewpoint, the oppressor’s viewpoint. It reduces people to a de-humanized role. Instead, when we use words such as “people who were enslaved’, or “people who were kidnapped” or “people who were held captive,” we get an accurate description of who were the doers and who were the done-tos.

I’m not talking about choosing our words to be “politically correct,” but to become more aware of what we are communicating – intentionally and unintentionally. This debate over language isn’t arbitrary or frivolous. One group has had the power to name things, has had the power for so long that we are blind to the biases and put downs associated with so many “common” words. The greatest sign of respect is to call people what they want to be called.

I know this can seem confusing. But make it simple: ask the people you are involved with or plan to tell stories about what they prefer to be called. Not in a manner that puts them under a microscope or asks them to speak for their group such as: “What do “you all” want to be called?” (“Well, all twelve million of us have taken a vote and…”) Instead, ask people as individuals what they prefer and be ready to share your preferences as well. This means we have to make contact; this means we have to talk to each other.

Instead of feeling put out by the need to consider language, we could rejoice in the fact that we’re finally becoming a multi-voiced nation. People are beginning to name themselves and no one group of anything wants to be called any one thing.

Language is a living, breathing, ever-changing art form. We could take the attitude that it’s interesting and even fun to play with words to get descriptions that are more clear, more accurate and more sensitive. We take the time not to be “right” but because we care not to hurt each other. When we choose different words we help people see a different reality. A different shared reality is the foundation upon which we can build a transformed society that works for everyone.

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used:

Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter, television personality and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex issues of social justice. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” For a copy of a free teleseminar with Susan, go to www.susanohalloran.com

* Photo purchased from istockphoto.com