This feeling of being on the Outside can happen within any dimension of diversity but I want to talk today about the unconscious insensitivities that can happen between people who are able-bodied and those who are not. Disability awareness is stronger than when I was growing up. Today, we have wheelchair ramps, handicapped parking, sign interpretation and the like. Yet, still, people with disabilities get scores of messages each day that can unintentionally make them feel on the outside.

I have been very fortunate that a number of friends with disabilities have been generous enough to set me straight when I’ve been insensitive and about what respectful behavior looks like to them. I’d like to share some of the things I’ve learned. But please remember that one size does not fit all. We can only speak of general guidelines and guidelines can never take the place of asking an individual how he or she would like to be treated. Each person has individual preferences.

A few things I’ve discovered or been told:

• It’s okay to offer to help people, but don’t just grab someone’s arm, for instance, and start helping him or her across the street.  Ask first – before you touch someone or make a move. Or wait and be ready if someone asks you for help.

• Remember, just because a person has one disability doesn’t mean they have several. People who are blind, for example, can hear. It’s almost like a natural impulse, but we need to remember that there’s no need to talk slower or louder.

• If you’re talking to a deaf person who is using an interpreter, look at and address that person, not the interpreter, when you are talking.

• For most people in wheelchairs, if you can sit down and be eye level, that saves them from crooking their necks to talk to you. Imagine what it would be like to look up to talk all day long.

• Oh! And here’s a good tip. If someone has a Seeing Eye dog – that dog is on the job, working, so don’t pet or distract the dog from its job.

• It’s okay to ask people about their disabilities and it’s okay if they don’t want to talk about them. Remember, you’re just one person asking, but people, especially with visible disabilities, may get questions twenty times a day, the same questions day after day, year after year. You can imagine how tiring that can be. Questions are great and we can take on the task of educating ourselves as well.

• It’s okay when you’re talking to use words like “walk” or “run” or “Do you see what I mean?” Or “Do you hear me?” People with disabilities understand that these are habitual figures of speech and they often use them as well.

• If people have speech problems it’s okay to ask them to repeat what they said or ask them to write something down. Let them know by what you say, your tone, your eyes, your smile, your patience – that you really care to know what they’re saying.

• We can all be advocates for each other. One simple suggestion I’ve been given: don’t park in places reserved for people with disabilities. Also, when you go to a mall or other public places and see that it wouldn’t be accessible to a disabled friend, say something to the management.

• A number of disabilities cannot be seen. Be open to picking up the cues or asking how you can make whatever environment you’re in more comfortable for everyone. For example, your cologne or perfume could send someone into a reaction for weeks.

If you read this list and feel a little of “Why do we always have to be sensitive to their disabilities?” that’s okay. Just know those feelings signal that you are an Insider on this issue. All of us who have been the historical Insiders on a particular dimension of diversity will have times when we feel the previous Outsider group is getting “special preference” or attention. That’s because we’re unaware of how much we’ve been getting “special preference” all along and how much life is already set up for us.

All of us are Insiders some of the time – this is not about being good or bad people. It’s about becoming aware that when we’re on the inside by definition we will have blind spots. Everything around us reinforces that our way is right, best and “normal.”  It is not special preference to break down barriers to equality.

I’d really love to see us move beyond the question of rights and political correctness. Instead, let’s be truly “PC”, that is “Personally Caring”. Let’s turn our attention to how much we lose if any in our human family feels like outsiders and how much we benefit when we are able to receive everyone’s contribution. Each and everyone one of us is important. Each of us has a unique light. The world goes dark when any of us are not able to share our light, and the whole world brightens when we do.

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used:

Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter, television personality and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex issues of social justice. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” For a copy of a free teleseminar with Susan, go to www.susanohalloran.com

Q: How did you get the people in your Kaleidoscope Discussion Videos to talk so openly? We’ve tried to interview people – to hear others’ stories – but I found most people don’t think they have much to share.

A: First of all, thanks to all who sent messages about the recent post of the Discussion Videos Promo.

I pre-interviewed over seventy people before I videotaped forty-two people’s stories for the Kaleidoscope curriculums.  You’re right. Often, people don’t know they have stories.  Sadly, they don’t think that their lives and their experiences are important.  They need to be drawn out.  Before I asked the interviewees one question around diversity, we talked about our families, neighborhoods, schools and so on. When some rapport was established, I asked questions such as:

• Who is your inspiration?  Where do you find hope and encouragement?
• What has your culture given you?
• Have there been times you were judged by appearances or stereotypes?  How did that make you feel?
• Have there been times you judged by appearances or stereotypes and, then, found out you were wrong?

At all times, I strived for balance, portraying the truth that we have all been both the insider and outsider.  I’m often an insider on race and physical abilities in this country, for example, but, sometimes, an outsider on gender or class.  I also strove for balance between examples of discrimination and models of inclusivity, knowing that we learn just as well, and sometimes better, from what is working.  Plus, when presenting our country’s hidden history around race, for example, we must be careful not to paint any group as victim (only), but to always include the magnificent stories of resistance and success as well.

To preview the Kaleidoscope Discussion Videos go to:

http://inspireaclassroom.com/?page_id=20

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used: Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex (and, with Sue, entertaining) issues of social justice and valuing differences. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” Find out more about Susan and her online classes plus download a free audio interview at: www.susanohalloran.com.

http://inspireaclassroom.com/?page_id=20

Here’s your preview of what’s called the “Discussion Videos” in my diversity/inclusion curriculum “Kaleidoscope: Valuing Differences and Creating Inclusion” (Remember my video host, Blip TV, runs ads at the beginning of the video. I’m not endorsing any of their advertisers. It will take app. 10 seconds for the “Discussion Video Promo” to load):

To celebrate this GRAND OPENING I want to give you a sneak preview of a new site we’re launching in 2010 called RaceBridgesVideo.com. This site co-produced with Angels Studio will be a mini-JustStories Festival online: 5 minute or so stories about cultural bridgebuilding.

Here’s a short clip from my one-woman show “Dividing Lines: The Education of a Chicago White Girl in 10 Rounds”. The quality of the video will be much better on the RaceBridges Videos site, but you can get an idea of what we’re up to. If you haven’t already, make sure you sign up for our list so you can get announcements about these and other upcoming activities.

(For those of you not familiar with You Tube or Blip TV, they host your video – thus, saving you space on your computer – but they put advertisements on to pay for their site. I’m not promoting any of these products. It takes 5-15 seconds for my video to load. You can “x” the ads out as you watch my videos. Thanks.)