Bullied To Death on College Campuses

Reading about the suicides on U.S. campuses makes me sad beyond measure. I keep thinking they just didn’t have to happen. Not only were these students “bullied to death” – that is horrible enough. But it also means they had no antidote, no community who welcomed them and neutralized the harm the bullies inflicted.

The divisions in this world were created step-by-step, decision-by-decision by human beings – they didn’t just drop on us. That’s actually good news because it means they can be undone step-by-step by people just like you and me if we put gentle time and attention into building community. I say gentle time and attention because we don’t want to create another excuse to beat up on ourselves. Many things in our modern world conspire against easy human contact.

But I have found that doing whatever I can to bring people together and building sanctuaries where I feel yummy, nurturing acceptance and support is worth the effort for me, but also – as we’ve seen with these tragic deaths – for others as well.

Is there a time you remember when you felt a sense of belonging? Do you remember feeling playful and alive? Is there a small way for you to bring more of that feeling into your life and other’s lives right now?

Chances are many of your friends are feeling similar feelings. When we experiences lives of all work and no play and a focus on me and my troubles, we may find that we’ve become those dull, lifeless adults we said we’d never become!

When do you feel welcomed? For you, it may be a book club, discussion group, a faith-based group or a standing date with friends for a shared meal or a walk. What activities and people make you feel stronger? How can you create more support for yourself?

If what they say is true – that 20% of our efforts yield 80% of our results – then there are plenty of things that seem essential that we can let go of to make room for actions that nurture us.

Each of us plays a part in creating communities where people feel as if they belong, communities where the beauty, the smarts, the spontaneity and the joy of each person can shine!

Susan O’Halloran is a diversity speaker who uses powerful and engaging stories to grab her audiences. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” A FREE GIFT can be found at: www.susanohalloran.com or by calling 1-866-997-8726. This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used.

Learning from Children

I’ve met children as young as four who have chosen to fight discrimination. Take an example from years ago: it was a preschool class who asked their teacher to write the Crayola Company and say, “These crayons you call ‘flesh’ aren’t the color of a lot of our skins. Why don’t you call this color something else?” Today, if you open a box of crayons, because of many children and adults asking similar questions, you won’t find a light colored crayon (or a band-aid),  labeled “flesh.”

Another group of pre-schoolers was taking a walk and saw a sign in a store window that said, “Men wanted.” They asked their teacher if they could stop and talk to the store’s owner. They told the man (who as you can imagine was surprised to be visited by 15 four-year-olds) his sign was unfair to women. The owner changed his sign to read: “Job available.”

When did we lose that ability to speak up and to believe we could make a difference?

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used:

Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter, television personality and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex issues of social justice. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” For a copy of a free teleseminar with Susan, go to www.susanohalloran.com