He talked about a present day school system that was designed for our early 1900s agricultural society. At Dr. Perry’s magnet school, Capital Prep, in Hartford, Connecticut, the previously lowest performing district in the state, 100% of the middle/high school students now go on to college.

There is simply no access to this society – period – without access to quality education.

Thank you, Richland, for inviting me. I enjoyed the mix of academic, business, city and community participants.

Another group of pre-schoolers was taking a walk and saw a sign in a store window that said, “Men wanted.” They asked their teacher if they could stop and talk to the store’s owner. They told the man (who as you can imagine was surprised to be visited by 15 four-year-olds) his sign was unfair to women. The owner changed his sign to read: “Job available.”

When did we lose that ability to speak up and to believe we could make a difference?

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used:

Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter, television personality and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex issues of social justice. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” For a copy of a free teleseminar with Susan, go to www.susanohalloran.com

A teenage girl was visiting the United States from Ethiopia. She complained that Americans were “so rude.”

“Why do you think Americans are rude?” she was asked.

“Because we went to the swimming pool and five or six girls asked me, ‘How do you stay so thin?’ I was so shocked and upset I had to leave.”

In America, a statement such as “How do you stay so thin?” isn’t even a request for information as much as a compliment. However, coming from Ethiopia where plumpness is the most desirable physical body type (ya’ gotta love it!), the girl was insulted by the question.

Here’s another example. Some Europeans have commented that Americans are rude because they’ve noticed that we often whistle as well as clap at large public events. In parts of Europe, whistling after a concert means that the audience disapproved of the performance.

Other visitors to America have commented on how “dirty” Americans are. Some Japanese people, for example, consider Americans to be dirty because, when we take a bath, we clean ourselves in the bath water and then soak in the same water. To some Japanese taking a bath that way makes no sense at all. In Japan, it’s the custom to shower and clean first, then get into the bath to relax.

Some people find the American way of waiting in line to be quite impractical. If someone were waiting in a post office line, for example, and had to fill out a label, everyone behind her would have to wait. In other countries, people crowd around a service window so that many transactions can be going on at once. While you’re filling out your label, someone else is paying for his or her purchase and so on. Many Americans would see this “crowding” as chaotic and would complain that people aren’t taking turns.

Take one other area of communication ­– gestures. In France what we would call the “okay” sign means something or someone is worthless. It means that they are a zero. In Japan, the same gesture is the sign for money. In parts of India, rocking the head from side to side doesn’t mean “No.” Instead it means, “Yes, I’m listening.” Some cultures teach that looking directly at someone is a sign of respect. Others teach just the opposite: to show respect, never look a person of authority in the eye.

Even if you don’t travel to other parts of the world, the fact is people from all over the globe live right here. We’ll want to understand one another because even people from similar backgrounds can misunderstand each other and experience cultural collisions. If some people can misunderstand American values, rituals and gestures so much, what might we be misunderstanding about them?

Hope you enjoyed the Olympics as much as I did!

This article may be reprinted when this full byline is used:

Susan O’Halloran is a story artist, workshop presenter, television personality and keynote speaker whose work explores the complex issues of social justice. She is an author of four books plus diversity curriculums, CDs and films. The Chicago Reader says O’Halloran “has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time.” For a copy of a free teleseminar with Susan, go to www.susanohalloran.com

THE HABIT

During this holiday season, some of you may read or go see The Christmas Carol. In this play, the main character, Scrooge, bellows, “Bah! Humbug!” It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more Scrooge told himself how miserable life was, the more miserable he became. He had developed the habit of a closed, inflexible and mistrustful mind. “Habit” may seem like a strange phrase to use, but think of other habits you have, such as brushing your teeth, washing your face or combing your hair. A lot of our habits have to do with taking care of our personal appearances. Well, the internal us, our minds, need some looking after everyday as well.

When disappointments come your way, after a grieving period, check your thoughts. Do you live by scripts that tell you life is “Bah! Humbug!” or do you live by scripts that help you to keep a realistic yet open mind toward life and other people? This isn’t about being in denial of life’s hardships or playing Pollyanna, it’s just that an optimistic, bigger picture attitude allows for more possibilities.

If you read stories about people who survive hardships, such as those who survive after capsizing at sea, getting caught in an avalanche or lost in the woods, you’ll see a pattern emerge. One thing that survivors seem to have in common is that somehow they are able to keep their minds open to the possibility of being rescued. They keep their faith alive and believe that things will eventually work out. Even though they’re in terrible situations, they allow new ideas and solutions to keep flowing through their brains.

We see through the lens of our beliefs systems. If we mesmerize ourselves with statements such as “Things will never change” or “I guess violence is inevitable” or “It’s just human nature not to get along” we’re likely to create a world that matches our deepest fears.

Someone once told me that cynics are just disappointed romantics. Sometimes the people who seem the most negative are the ones who care the most. They use their negativity to shield them from further hurts. And, let’s face it, sometimes caution and a bit of mistrust is just what’s called for.

The trick is not to get stuck, to be able to discern: is this a time for caution or a time to open to greater possibilities? If we know to expect, appreciate and address our pessimism, it won’t immobilize us. We need to know that as soon as we create a vision of what we’d like our life, our country or our world to look like, limiting beliefs will pop up. As soon as you plant a garden, weeds grow, don’t they?

Like a gardener with her hoe, we have to use imagination and creativity to weed out our limiting beliefs. We’re always going to have to weed the garden. If we tend the garden regularly, the garden will eventually flourish. After allowing myself time for a pity party when I was down last month, I started to weed out my despair and instead churn in some activating fertilizer. Imagine how my hopelessness (“Things never work out” “Nothing I do makes a difference”) changed to a sense of possibility by changing my self-talk. Here are a few activating beliefs I’m using these days:

• Real change happens out of the commitment of a few; I am one of those few.
• It’s my country. If I don’t do it who will? If not me, who?
• I educate myself and develop all the skills I need.
• The present world is a function of our thinking. If I want change, I start with myself and change my heart to a peaceful one.
• I build support person by person until I make an impact.
• I trust I will find and make my unique contribution.
• Small solutions lead to bigger solutions.
• The outcome is not my business. I do what I can do.
• Human decisions got us here. Nothing is inevitable. With intelligence and creativity, we’ll find our way.

The day-to-day (sometimes minute-to-minute) training of our minds to be open to our good strips us of apathetic malaise and puts us into the world of action, each of us then able to make our unique contribution to the cumulative process of transformation.